Friday, March 18, 2005

If Monty Python ran the AP...

... they couldn't do better than this, reported by OpinionJournal: John Cleese Monty Python
The Associated Press plans to offer its member newspapers "two different leads for many of its news stories," reports Editor & Publisher, the news industry trade magazine:

"The concept is simple: On major spot stories--especially when events happen early in the day--we will provide you with two versions to choose between," the AP said in an advisory to members. "One will be the traditional 'straight lead' that leads with the main facts of what took place. The other will be the 'optional,' an alternative approach that attempts to draw in the reader through imagery, narrative devices, perspective or other creative means."

The E&P piece concludes with these examples:

Traditional

MOSUL, Iraq (AP)--A suicide attacker set off a bomb that tore through a funeral tent jammed with Shiite mourners Thursday, splattering blood and body parts over rows of overturned white plastic chairs. The attack, which killed 47 and wounded more than 100, came as Shiite and Kurdish politicians in Baghdad said they overcame a major stumbling block to forming a new coalition government.

Optional

MOSUL, Iraq (AP)--Yet again, almost as if scripted, a day of hope for a new, democratic Iraq turned into a day of tears as a bloody insurgent attack undercut a political step forward.

On Thursday, just as Shiite and Kurdish politicians in Baghdad were telling reporters that they overcame a major stumbling block to forming a new coalition government, a suicide attacker set off a bomb that tore through a funeral tent jammed with Shiite mourners in the northern city of Mosul.

I am imagining John Cleese or Eric Idle reading the "optional" section. As others have noted from time to time, the real news often sounds more and more like Scrappleface or The Onion.

No comments: