Weird things of 2002 are summarized by today's Washington Post. My favorites, with my italicized introductions:

He's a real nowhere man:
TEHRAN -- Iranian police were on the lookout for an alleged sorcerer who conned a man into believing he was invisible and could rob banks.

Proper gun control is hitting only what you aim at:
AMMAN, Jordan -- The groom spent his wedding night in jail after accidentally shooting dead two guests while firing his automatic rifle to celebrate his marriage.

Maybe it was part of Total Information Awareness:
OXNARD, Calif. -- An Oxnard man was charged with animal cruelty and being under the influence of amphetamines after allegedly torturing and dissecting his daughter's pet guinea pig because he thought it was a camera-equipped robot placed in his home by government agents.

It takes one to know one:
PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- The Rhode Island State Senate unanimously passed a bill to issue automobile license tags honoring the 50th anniversary of Mr. Potato Head.

I refrain from relating jokes that start out, "A Wake Forest frat brother walked into a bar with a pig under arm . . . "
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. -- Members of a Wake Forest University fraternity were charged with animal cruelty and abandonment after their pet pig was found drunk, dehydrated and sunburned in a local park. Frat boys haven't changed since I graduated there.

That's why it's called the longest mile:
LIVINGSTON, Tex. -- Convicted killer Rodolfo Hernandez, who has only one leg, demanded that the Texas prison system supply him with an artificial limb to aid his 50-foot walk to the death chamber.

No, she was the Gatekeeper, Bill Murray was a god:
ATLANTA -- The Georgia parole board issued a stay of execution for a killer so delusional that when he is off his medication he believes that actress Sigourney Weaver is God.

No, dummies, you roast the cocoa beans, not the chocolate:
ZURICH -- A fire at a Swiss warehouse destroyed 4 million chocolate Easter bunnies.

Another reason to hate voice mail:
TICONDEROGA, N.Y. -- A man who called police to brag that he couldn't be caught was arrested while still on the phone.